Vom 3. Oktober 2010.
Ich hatte alle meine Gedanken mal aufgeschrieben. Und da ich meine Gefühle auf Englisch besser ausdrücken kann als auf Deutsch, ist es auf Englisch :P
_ Thoughts ♥ _
Please.!
Want this too..
Won't continue this anymore..!
I knew life isn't easy but..
these pain is too much for my mind, my soul and my body..
I just wanted to be free.. and this is what i got.. I got nothing.. even if I love someone.. this eternal love hurt me more and more..
I don't want to hurt someone.. I don't want to hurt someone do you know?! I .. I just want to make her happy.. She said she got so much stress.. She said she got so often disputes.. And I just wanted to be lucky .. lucky like never before..
There's something in my life, at my mind and body that scares her, I think..
You know.. I just want to be lucky like all Animes, all Stories, all Histories got inside there ends.. Just an Happy End..
I even think more and more.. that.. there's only an Happy End inside my death..
Just wanna be happy..
The death, I think, is like a dream which got real..Just wanna be happy..
So that I could be there with all my wishes together, be free.. got her.. happiness.. real love and so on..
But in reality this.. that the death is the Happy End of all.. is like a Dream!
Why isn't it easy like to fill a bottle with water? If the bottle got filled everything will be finished..
I'm so confused like a fish at earth.. Like a bird underwater..
What shall I do?? The blinding of an Happy End is so near and touchable.. but it's hard to choose a side..
Yeah, even if you choose the easy way.. you finished your life and hurt many many people at all :/ but even if you choose the hard way.. you just hurt yourself..
Now is the question..
Can I name it social if I live my life continued because I don't want to hurt those who love me even if I hurt myself?
I..
I can't do this anymore..
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